Jedi, Elves, and Total Insanity
by 05Hana-chan
Summary: Ahsoka Tano, Katia Amidala, and Kaskleu Veran are three teenage Jedi who like reading hilarious fanfiction and doing weird stuff. What happens when the hilarious-ness of the fanfics suddenly happens to them? Co-written with KatiaSwift. DISCONTINUED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
1. Galadrathingy, Paint, & Squeeze Cheese

Jedi, Elves, and Total Insanity

Chapter 1: Galadra-thingy, Pink Paint,and Squeeze Cheese

Katia Amidala was reading a FanFic on her computer, in her Jedi Quarters. She was bored, even though the FanFic was Bluesaber3's. She had NO IDEA WHAT TO DO... until her friend, Padawan Kaskleu Rea Veran burst through the door. "THERE'S A WEIRD GUY WITH A BOW ON THE PORCH!" Kask screamed.

Katia covered her ears. "Jeez, Kask, can't you be more quiet about it?"

"SORRY, BUT NO!" Kaskleu screamed again.

Katia growled. "Whatever. Now, what's going on?"

Kaskleu sighed. "Are you deaf, or what? I screamed it loud and clear..."

Katia groaned. "You were yelling so loud, I couldn't hear you!"

Kaskleu tilted her head. "Is that even possible?" She asked curiously.

Katia facepalmed.

Kaskleu got a sulky expression on her face. "Well, you, didn't hear me the first time... but how about THIS? THERE'S A WEIRD GUY ON MY PORCH WITH A BOW AND FUNNY-LOOKING EARS!"

Katia covered her ears, but looked a bit more enlightened. "Okaaay..." She said. "And what do you want ME to do about it? I could see who HE is?" She yelled this time.

Kask nodded vigorously, this time keeping her hands over her lekku. "Ow..." She murmured. "That hurt, Kat!"

Katia sighed. "Look who's talking." She muttered under her breath. The young Knight got off her couch, putting her computer down, and grabbed an iced tea out of her fridge. "Okay, Kask, lead the way... and, just tell me he's not one of your hallucinations again."

"HEY!" Kaskleu protested, following her friend down the hall. "I don't have hallucinations! Ernie the hot dog guy was REAL!"

"Whatever you say..." Katia muttered. She threw open the door to the quarters that Kaskleu and her Master, Aayla Secura, shared. There was no one inside. "Kask..." She said in exasperation. "There's NO ONE here."

"Yes there is!" Kaskleu insisted. She grabbed Katia's hand and led her friend into her room. Standing on the balcony was a young man, with long blond hair, who was carrying a bow and arrows and looking completely bewildered. He looked remarkably like Orlando Bloom.

Kaskleu, of course, took that moment to scream at the top of her lungs and dive under her bed. Katia took out her lightsaber and stood still. "Who are you, and how did you get on my friend's porch?" She asked.

The young man brushed a strand or two of hair behind his ears and sighed. "I am Legolas Thranduilion, Crown Prince of Mirkwood. Who are you?"

Katia sighed. "Yeah, right. And I'm Bugs Bunny."

Legolas perked up. "You are? I LOVE BUGS BUNNY!"

Katia groaned. "Just... shut up!"

Instantly, there was an arrow embedded in the wall behind her head. Katia had dodged to the side. "Who are you to tell the Prince of Mirkwood to shut up?" He asked in rage.

She sighed. "I'm Bugs Bunny, Legolas. I say anything I want to!"

He started to glare at her. "I just noticed you were a GIRL. Bugs Bunny isn't a girl!"

"Didn't you know Bugs Bunny had a SISTER named Bugs Bunny and was human?" She asked.

Legolas shook his head. "No... he did?"

Katia nodded like an expert. "Yep, he did. I am she!"

Legolas leaped at her and hugged her. "HOORAY!" He cheered, kissing Katia on the cheek.

"EWWW!" She yelled, leaping backwards. "GROSS!" Duct tape shot out of her fingertips, binding Legolas from head to toe. He fell on his face. "Serves you right..." She muttered, dragging Legolas back inside.

Kaskleu slid out from under her bed. "THAT WAS SO FREAKIN' COOL!" She yelled. "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO HIM NOW?"

Katia grinned. "You'll see. Kask, does your Master have any blue crayons and freezer space?"

"I think she does." Kaskleu responded. "MASTER! Katia has some questions for you! she says they will be quick!"

"I said no such thing!" Katia said. "All I need is blue crayons and freezer space!"

Aayla came hurrying out of her bedroom, carrying three blue crayons. She was on her way to a ball in the Senate District, and Kit Fisto would be there to pick her up any moment. "Be careful with them, Katia..." She cautioned. "They're valuable."

"Righty-oh!" Katia said cheerfully, taking the crayons. "Thanks, Master Aayla."

The two girls sat down next to where Legolas was on the ground and started to draw.

"Master, one more thing, please! Can we use the pink and white crayons if we are careful?" Kask pleaded.

"And some paint?" Katia chimed in.

When Aayla had given them the paint and crayons, the girls sat down to work, giggling like maniacs. Katia grinned evilly at Legolas. "Guess what?" She said. "We... are your WORST NIGHTMARE!"

So that's how Katia Amidala and Kaskleu Veran came to be sitting, alone, on the floor, trying to turn Legolas into a princess.

**Oh, wait, hold on a moment... I'm getting something in here. **

**"DO OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY!" **

**Okay, so we have had a very interesting bulletin from Yoda... let me fix that.**

**So that's how Katia Amidala and Kaskleu Veran came to be sitting, alone, on the floor, turning Legolas into a princess. **

**Better, Yoda?**

**"Better, that is. On with the story, you must go."**

**Okay, orders from the Master... here I go.**

Katia giggled again as she put some of Aayla's lipstick on Legolas. It had been a brilliant idea on Kaskleu's part to raid Aayla's makeup. Legolas squirmed, but it was futile... you know the hold of duct tape. Katia had taken the end of one of her thirteen-foot-braids and dipped in in pink paint. She was now painting Legolas's face with pink hearts, and putting pink paint in his hair. They were having a complete blast when the door flew open.

Ahsoka Tano, Anakin Skywalker's Padawan, ran in. "OHMYGOD!" She screamed, making Katia clutch at her ears again. "CHECK FOR YOUR PULSE!"

Kaskleu flopped over on her back and clutched at her lekku. "Owww..." She moaned.

Ahsoka sat down next to Legolas as if nothing had happened "Who's this?" She asked. "Kat's new boyfriend?"

"EWWWWWW!" Katia screamed. "HE'S MARRIED, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE!"

Ahsoka and Kask both put their hands over their Lekku."Ow." They both said at once.

"Anyway," Katia said, "He's MUCH too old for me. How old are you, Legolas?"

Legolas growled. He was starting to hate the girls, especially Katia, who had slipped an ice cube down his tunic. "Well, let's see..." He said. "I'm older than you weirdos-"

"THANK YOU!" They all screamed. Legolas really, really wanted to cover his ears right then.

"and I'm younger than Galadriel-" He continued.

"Ooh! Who's Galadra-thingy?" Ahsoka asked.

Legolas wanted to scream. These girls were worse than Orcs.

He was greeted with a loud smack. "I heard that!" Katia said in a singsong voice.

Correction. These mind-reader girls were worse than Orcs.

"I heard that too!" Kask said. she started to do her best Orc expression.

Real orcs were more brown and slimy, where as these "mind-reader orcs" were exactly the shuddered. "Perhaps we got off to a bad start...?" He suggested cautiously.

"PERHAPS?" The girl named Katia snorted. "Yeah, right." Her eyes started to gleam. "Kask," She said, "Open the freezer."

That's how Legolas found himself with his bare toes in the ice cube tray, freezing off, and his head getting a makeover. Neither experience was pleasant.

"No, not the pink!" Legolas screamed.

Katia had started to put pink makeup all over his head.

"No pink, eh? Well, then we've got a surprise for you!" Again Katia grinned evilly. "Kask, get the bathtub!"

Kask ran into the bathroom. She filled the bathtub with pink paint just as Katia and Ahsoka brought the elf in.

They all started to sing.

The Elf can't swim away!

There is no way out!

Kask took a solo.

Horses, pickles and so much more

will attack you for your life!

Katia's solo.

To try and swim away would be a futile si-i-i-ight!

You'll be covered in pink paint for the rest of the ni-i-i-ight!

Ahsoka's solo.

No ti-ime to spa-are,

PICKLES RULE THE UNIVERSE!

"Ahsoka, pause." Kask said. Then they started in on the chorus.

PINK PICKLES, PINK PICKLES, EVERYTHING REVOLVES AROUND PINK PICKLES!

"No, Ahsoka. They don't!

No Elf can get past a Separatist block! Not even the Galadri-thingy!

Legolas, still floundering in the pink paint, looked up. "You know," He said, "That might just be the worst song I've ever heard. It makes no sense!"

**HEY! LEGOLAS! HARRIET AND I MADE IT UP, OKAY? IT'S IMPROV, AND- WAIT, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE KISSING CASSI IN THAT ROOM OVER THERE, NOT CRITIQUING MY STORY!**

**Sorry. Where were we? Oh, yes... they were torturing Legolas in the pink paint...**

**"NO, NOT THE PINK AGAIN! I HEARD THAT!"**

**Yes, the pink again. If you're going to read over my shoulder, then you'll take the consequences! Take 'er away, Harriet!**

So Legolas was tortured in pink paint. He was screaming like a banshee and yelling,

"GALADRIEL!"

Suddenly, the door opened, and a beautiful Elf with long, curly blond hair that glowed like the sun stepped through. She looked around, and surveyed the situation with curiosity. "Oops," She said after a moment, "Wrong room." She went back out the door, calling, "CELEBORN? WHERE ARE YOU?"

Katia looked at her friends. "That was weird." She said.

"Galadriel! It's Legolas! These Orcs are torturing me!"

"Well good for them!" The Elf yelled back. "CELEBORN!"

Legolas was in despair. Galadriel, the only one of his kind around, had just left to go look for Celeborn. "WHY DID SHE LEAVE ME?" He howled.

Katia giggled. "I gave her money!" She said, laughing harder.

"ARGGH!" Legolas growled once again.

All of a sudden, two pink people in pink dresses, pink socks and pink shoes jumped in.

They stood up. "How are you Kat? Kask? 'Soka?" The smaller one said. "Hi weird person with pointy ears and pink hair in pink paint!"

"GRR!" Legolas growled. "Katia! who are these pink monsters?"

"Nalara, Nelen, meet Legolas the STUPID prince of Elves, Mirkwood, and Stupidity."

**"HEY, I AM SO NOT THAT!"**

**LEGOLAS JUST SHUT UP WILL YOU! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE KISSING CASSI IN THE OTHER ROOM!**

**Thanks for backing my case, Harriet.**

**All right, now... where was I? Oh, yes. That's right. The twins. Legolas, can you stand gore?**

**"Well, I've killed plenty of Orcs!"**

**No. I'm talking about pink. You had better leave... I don't think you should see this. *shoves Legolas through a door, closes it and locks it* all right. That's better. Here we go!**

Nalara looked at Legolas, a malicious gleam in her eyes. "He's... he's pink!" She said happily. "Like me!"

Kaskleu giggled. "Yeah, he is! Want to help us make him pinker?"

"YEEEEEAH!" Nalara and Nelen cheered. Katia and Legolas covered their ears, wincing. Katia realized this had gone a bit far. Here they were, giving CASSANDRA'S HUSBAND a bath in pink paint, just for a few arrows. She had an idea, and winked at Legolas.

"Oh, guys, look what I found!" She said, lifting a bottle of pink squeeze cheese from her pocket. "You can use it on Legless here!"

Ahsoka snickered. "Legless..." She muttered. Katia handed her a jar of pink pickles and whispered, "If you know what's good for you, you'll shut up and eat these." Ahsoka nodded, completely ignoring the threat, and stuck her whole hand in the pickle jar.

Suddenly, as the Twi'lek twins were about to spray Legolas with the deadly pink squeeze cheese, Katia leaped in between them and the Elf, grabbing Legolas's hand and hauling him out of the bathtub. The twins shrieked in rage and ran after them, followed by Kaskleu and Ahsoka, who still had her hand in the pickle jar. "IT'S STUCK AND I CAN'T GET IT OFF!" Ahsoka howled. They all ignored her.

"RUN, LEGOLAS, RUN!" Katia yelled, pulling him behind her. They could run faster than the twins and Kaskleu (Ahsoka had stopped following and was sitting on the ground, sobbing about her hand that was stuck in the pickle jar), and were soon around the corner, right in front of Obi-Wan Kenobi's quarters. Katia busted the door open and hauled Legolas inside. Obi-Wan was sitting inside, on the couch, holding hands with Satine and drinking wine. They had been about to kiss, and both leaped up yelling at the intrusion of their private evening.

"SORRY MASTER OBI-WAN! SORRY DUCHESS! IT'S A LONG STORY... I'LL TELL YOU LATER, BUT RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE TO GET IN THE CLOSET AND STAY THERE UNTIL I TELL YOU TO COME OUT!" Katia shoved the Duchess and the Jedi Master in the closet, then dropped Legolas into the bathtub.

Satine turned to face Obi-Wan by the light of the closet, looking confused. Obi-Wan shrugged, and they decided it was as good a time as any. They began kissing in the closet.

Katia pulled open the door to Obi-Wan's cleaning supplies cabinet and pulled out a can of black paint. "I am so, so sorry, Legolas..." She said, and dumped it onto his head. He yelled, and she sighed. "That's why you're in the bathtub. Just trust me, and say what I tell you to when they come in, okay?" She dove into the shower and pulled the curtain around her just as the twins and Kaskleu ran into the bathroom. They saw Legolas, sitting in the tub, covered in black paint, and didn't recognize him.

"Where's that elf?" The twins asked. "Why are you here?"

Legolas had no idea what to do, and thought it was a trick until he heard Katia's voice in his mind. "I am Master Obi-Wan, these are my quarters, and I'm taking a bath in black paint, thank you very much." He said.

The twins turned bright red. "Oh... we're sorry, Master Obi-Wan! We didn't recognize you with the paint! We'll go and search for the Elf somewhere else, now!" They left Obi-Wan's quarters, practically bowing.

Legolas grinned. Maybe Katia wasn't so bad after all. He suddenly started spluttering as he was hit with a direct blast of hot water. Katia was standing next to the bathtub, blasting him with water from her hands. "You need to be clean if I'm ever getting you back home safe to Cassi." She said, smiling.

"KATIA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY HUSBAND?" Cassi was standing there in the doorway looking mad.

Katia looked guilty. "Uhh... Cass... I can explain-" She began, but Legolas broke in.

"She was saving me, Cass. I have NO IDEA where we are, but she saved me from a bunch of weirdos who painted me pink and stuck my toes on an ice cube tray!" He said. A silent agreement between Katia and Legolas made sure that Legolas wouldn't tell Cassi about her involvement in the original torture.

Cassi ran to him and put her arms around him. "Le melon..." She whispered. Katia giggled.

Later, Cassi and Legolas had been delivered back to Mirkwood, and Katia was still being hunted by the twins and Kaskleu. Fortunately, she had managed to sneak back to her quarters, and had barred the door with her favorite rocking chair. She sat down on the couch, feeling grateful that she didn't have to face her friends. She made instant macaroni, and picked up her computer. Suddenly, "A Not-So-Normal Week 3" seemed a lot more funny now that the stuff in it was sort of happening to her. She grinned and began to write a review to Blue.


	2. Midnight Parties with Obi and Satine

**Chapter 2: Midnight Parties with Obi and Satine**

This time, Kaskleu was on HER computer reading FanFiction. She was starting "A Not-So-Normal Week" by Bluesaber3. Katia had recommended it to her. Coruscant was looking very busy as normal during the new Anakin Is Going Crazy Circus's first performance.

Her com beeped just as she was going to review chapter 1. "Padawan Veran here." She said with a sigh.

"Kask? *cough cough* I was wondering if you could bring me some of your special vassi root and mint tea?" The person said, coughing again.

"Katia? Is it you?" Kask asked.

"Yes. Now will you help me or not?" Katia Amidala asked.

"Okay. See you soon."Kaskleu said.

She hung up the com and commed Padmé.

"Hello?" She said. "Who is this?"

"Kask." She said in response.

"Kask...?" Padmé asked in confusion. "Who are you?"

Kaskleu sighed. "I'm Padawan Kaskleu Rea Veran! I'm your sister's friend!"

"Oh." Padmé said. "What can I do for you?"

"Your sister has a cough," Kask said. "She asked me to bring her some of the vassi root and mint tea, and I need your help. I'm out of the vassi root, and Kat said you had some..."

"I am so sorry, Kaskleu, I have none left." Padmé said.

"But I REALLY need it!" Kask said. She really wanted to help her friend.

"I do know where you can find vassi root!" Padmé said excitedly. "come over to my place and I will tell you."

"I am on my way, Senator Amidala! Thanks!" Kask said.

5 minutes later...

Kask was sitting on Padmé's leather couch looking at a holomap of her course.

Ahsoka, Aayla, and the twins (if you remember them from the last chapter) were in the room as well so they could get their orders.

"Where exactly is this place?" Ahsoka asked.

Meanwhile, in Katia's quarters...

Katia was sitting on her bed, surrounded by a pile of reading "The Last of the Really Great Whangdoodles" by Julie Andrews Edwards and listening to some Herbie Hancock jazz music.

There was a loud knock at the door, which Katia heard even through her earbuds.

"Come in! I AM sick, you know!" Katia answered.

"Yes, I do know you are sick, Kat. I wanted to tell you something!" Kaskleu said.

The door opened. Kask, Ahsoka, Padmé, Aayla and the twins stepped inside.

"AHH! THE TWINS!" Katia screamed.

"OW!" Ahsoka, Padmé, and Aayla said at the same time.

"You said it, Ahsoka!" Kaskleu said, holding her lekku.

"Agreed." the two twins said, in perfect unison.

"Katia, we are going to go to this planet in Wild Space so we can find some vassi root for your tea." Padmé said.

"Padmé, you must be careful!" Katia said worriedly.

"I will, sis." Padmé replied.

They left, the twins still eying Katia suspiciously. Katia giggled at their identical "Caterpillar Eyebrows". They were pink as you could think, you know.

Padmé left to com the clones to get her ship ready, while the other girls packed. As the Senator was rounding the corner of one of the Jedi Temple's many hallways, she heard a loud crash and someone cursing. She ran over to the open door, where the noise was coming from, and looked inside.

With a shriek, Padmé covered her eyes. Obi-Wan Kenobi, wearing a bath towel, had tripped over something and lost control of the towel. He yelled loudly at the sight of the Senator and crashed through the door of his broom closet, making someone inside it shriek and brooms and mops fly everywhere. Duchess Satine stepped out of the broom closet, wearing a mop on her head, a pink sparkly bikini (hide your eyes, that's not a pretty picture), and clanking as she walked, for she had Obi-Wan's mop bucket stuck on her foot. She was swearing nearly as loud as Obi-Wan. Padmé was still hiding her eyes and trying not to laugh. Just as she stepped forward to help, grabbing the first two things she found (a bedsheet with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pattern and a large towel with all the Disney princesses on it, which had an incriminating nametag on it that said "Obi-Wan Kenobi"on it in a loopy pink scrawl), she tripped over something and fell to the floor.

Padmé rolled over as expertly as a Jedi Master and got to her feet, looking around for what she had tripped over, and let out a loud shriek as several tiny blaster bolts hit her ankles. The Senator grabbed a pink punch bowl with Ninja Turtle decals from under Obi-Wan's coffee table (she would really have to remind the obvious couple to stop leaving incriminating evidence of their relationship around Obi-Wan's room) and clapped it down on top of seven or eight tiny figures. There were loud screams from under the Ninja Turtle punch bowl, and then the sound of what sounded like Anakin snapping his fingers (he couldn't do it very well, and ended up sounding like he was trying to make a fake fart noise instead of the loud clear snap that his wife could make easily). The top of the punch bowl started to get tiny melted spots in it, and Satine, still wearing her bikini, yelled. "MY NINJA TURTLE PUNCH BOWL!" She screamed, and threw herself at the still towelless Obi-Wan. Padmé hid her eyes again.

Just as Padmé was sure that she wasn't going to be able to keep the tiny things (that she still hadn't identified) under the punch bowl, there was a tiny voice. "Hey, is that Michaelangelo?" It asked.

Another voice answered, "Yeah, it is! And Donatello, and Raphael, and Leonardo, too!"

Padmé gave up on her dignafied "Senator Look" that Anakin always teased her about and started laughing. "N-NARGLES!" She gasped, laughing harder.

**"Oh, excuse me, Miss Authoress, but I don't think my line comes in for a while yet, please. Is that true?"**

**Oh, sorry, Luna. I didn't mean to do that... it was too tempting, especially after that Harry Potter matinee. You know?**

**"You know, Miss Authoress, I do believe there are Nargles in this room. You know, I think they're centering around that Elf over there..."**

***Legolas screams and runs as Luna runs after him, yelling about Nargles invading the world***

**Okay, that's over. Sorry, everyone! Back to the story now!**

Just as Padmé started laughing, Anakin ran in to Obi-Wan's quarters, surveyed the scene, and rushed to his wife's side. "MY LOVE!" He screamed. "WHAT'S THE MATTER? WHAT HAPPENED? ARE YOU AND THE BABY OKAY?"

Padmé gave him a funny look. "Huh?" She said.

Anakin blushed. "Oh. That line wasn't supposed to come in until later, was it, Miss Authoress?"

**No, Anakin, that wasn't. Much, much later. I'm going to have to send Loony- uh, Luna- after you... LUNA! NARGLES!**

***Anakin and Legolas run screaming from Luna Lovegood as she yells about Nargles***

**Okay, sorry. Let's try that again, shall we?**

Just as Padmé started laughing, Anakin ran into Obi-Wan's quarters, surveyed the scene, and began singing the tenor part for a very stupid made-up song about pink marshmallow unicorns. Ahsoka Tano and Barriss Offee, in the middle of packing for the trip, heard the noise- their adjoining quarters were not far around the next bend of the long hallway- and ran in. Ahsoka started screaming and wouldn't stop. Barriss took one look at the scene in front of her and passed out on the floor, right into a bowl of pink cake frosting, for Satine's Ninja Turtle baking project.

Aayla Secura was sneaking along the hallway, going to meet Kit Fisto for a secret romantic, candlelight dinner, when she heard loud crashes, screams, hysterical laughter, and someone singing tenor in a horrible song. She picked up her comlink and slammed right into Kit. Apparently there had been a mix-up, and he thought he was supposed to come for her. He was wearing a tuxedo, swim fins, and carrying a bouquet of roses. He screamed like a girl upon impact with Aayla and fell to the floor, yelling, "RABID, MUTANT UNICORNS ARE ATTACKING! HELP!"

Aayla clapped a hand over Kit's mouth. "SHH!" She whispered loudly in Kit's ear. "We have to find out what's going on!"

Kit tried to say something, but since Aayla's hand was clapped over his mouth, he could only mumble. As she pulled him to his feet, a small velvet box fell out of his jacket onto the floor.

**OKAY! CUT! THAT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! KIT!**

**"Well, I'm sorry! It wasn't my fault, Miss Authoress! Aayla tried to pick my pockets when she pulled me up!"**

**Aayla, is this true?**

**"NO!"**

**Okay... let's see, how do I fix this?**

***Luna Lovegood runs over and whispers something in Kit's ear, then runs away, giving him the thumbs-up***

***Kit gets down on one knee* "Aaylas'ecura, will you marry me?"**

**LUNA! BAD SUGGESTION! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PROPOSE LATER IN THIS GODFORSAKEN STORY!**

**"But, Miss Authoress, there were Nargles floating around his head when he dropped it, so if he didn't do something right, the story may never sort itself out!"**

**Luna, that makes no sense whatsoever.**

**"Oh, yes, I know. Isn't that the point, Miss Authoress?"**

***grumbles* Whatever. Luna, go chase Legolas...**

***Luna runs off to chase Legolas, who screams like a girl and runs***

**Okay, good. People, let's take this from the top. Get those cameras rolling... aaand... ACTION! *claps loudly with one hand***

So where were we? Oh, right. Kit dropped his jacket. He managed to pick it up quickly, and Aayla didn't even notice the suspicious, velvet-sounding clunk. They peered around the doorway of Obi-Wan's room and were greeted by the strangest sight that both of them had ever seen, individually or not. Kit stood there awkwardly while Aayla picked up a bowl of pink Jell-O with small Ninja Turtle action figures in it, dumped it over her head, and began taking off her clothes. Kit looked around at the total insanity, shrugged, and put his swim fins on his head, then spun Aayla around the room.

Meanwhile, six floors up- Obi-Wan's room was on the seventh floor-, Katia Amidala was trying to get to sleep, despite her cold. It was late, after all... suddenly, music started blaring, as loud as if the girl next door (Zia Secura, Aayla's little sister) had turned her stereo system up all the way. Kat turned over and buried her head underneath her pillow, but it was no use. The music was, if this was possible, louder than before. Even when she turned her iPod up to maximum sound, it didn't do a thing. She growled and got out of bed, grabbing her lightsabers and a few snotty tissues.

She walked down the hall to the lifts and got into one, still wearing her green Wookiee slippers and her nightgown. At each floor she went down to, she would step out and listen. At every floor, the music got louder, but it was positively BLASTING by the time she got to the seventh floor. She got out of the lift there, and dragging her old pink baby blanket- the one with the strawberries on it- behind her, she stomped down the hall.

Obi-Wan's door was open, and the music was certainly coming from there. The lights that spun off the wall in the hallway looked suspiciously like the lights from a disco ball. Katia stepped up to the door and gasped.

Aayla Secura was drinking some kind of wine and dancing around with Satine, Shaak Ti, and Adi Gallia in matching skimpy pink bikinis, all with Ninja Turtle decals. Each had a different Turtle on their bathing suits. Everyone was clapping, and the stereo was blaring, "EVERYBODY CAN-CAN!" Mace Window- oops, Windu- was scowling in a corner with "Kick Me" and "Party Pooper" Post-It Notes stuck to his back end, and Anakin Skywalker was passionately kissing Padmé in another corner. Ahsoka was still screaming- had she even taken a breath since she began several hours ago?- and Barriss Offee was still passed out, not breathing, in the bowl of pink frosting. Katia's eyes grew huge- not because she cared about her sister and brother-in-law kissing, but because of the party at three in the morning. She stepped into the foyer and was immediately hit in the face by a tiny, tiny clone trooper who was covered in melted cheese, obviously from one of the Ninja Turtle fondue pots in the middle of the trashed room. He was yelling like Tarzan and holding on to a small string that was hung from the rapidly spinning ceiling fan.

"FOR THE EMPIRE!" He screamed, clawing at her face.

Katia pulled the cheese-covered Mini Trooper off her and gripped him in a tight hand. "Stay quiet, sleemo, or you'll find yourself in a snot-covered tissue!" She hissed. A loud whistle and the noise of the angry Knight blasting Obi-Wan and Satine's stereo system hushed the party, except for a still hiccupping, still singing obnoxiously Aayla, who giggled and threw her wine into the chocolate fondue pot. Ahsoka stopped screaming, took a breath, her face grew less blue, and she immediately passed out from lack of air on top of Barriss.

"OKAY, PEOPLE! THIS IS IT! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! I AM SICK, AND SLEEP IS ALL I WANT RIGHT NOW! ARE YOU %&$**&^ SLEEMOS TOO DAFT TO UNDERSTAND THAT?"

Mace Window got up from his chair and said, "Uh, Knight Amidala, we apologize sincerely for this anomaly-"

"SHUT UP, DONKEY-BUTT! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HALF THE WORDS IN THAT LAST SENTENCE MEAN!" Katia screamed, blasting Window and Satine's prized Ninja Turtle costume out the window.

Satine screamed louder than Katia, which was impressive. "NOT MY MICHAELANGELO COSTUME!" She wailed, dropping to her knees in front of Obi-Wan. "OBI, MY LOVE, GET ME ANOTHER COSTUME, AND I SHALL MARRY YOU AND BE YOURS FOREVER!"

Obi-Wan grinned. "Oh, Satine, I shall get you ALL FOUR OF THE COSTUMES! YOU CAN WEAR ONE AS YOUR WEDDING DRESS!"

"Agreed." Satine said, dumping a bowl of Jell-O over Aayla's head.

Ten minutes later, Katia had managed to kick everyone out of Obi-Wan's quarters and tie them up in the hallway, with specially ordered noise-proof gags. She stomped back up to the lifts, went all the way to the thirteenth floor, collapsed on top of her huge hellhound, Mrs. O'Leary, and fell asleep. It had been a long, long day.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeah, we knew that was stupid... whatever. It's just up here 'cause it was Harriet's idea... I'm Katia, by the way. I wrote most of this chapter, with Harriet's wonderful help! If you don't understand it, just PM FaveGreenSaber... I'll do my best to explain, as will Harriet.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**~Katiana'Akar and Harriet~**


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